angsty

[llcoolvad]

So I feel angsty, but I don't have a particularly concrete reason. I have a couple of new things that are contributing to the angst, but one of them is six weeks off, and the other one is dumb. Still, they're affecting me.

I am the trainer at my job. Everyone new in the department goes through me. I also train external people — all the new consultants at the firm get an hour with me. I train on topics, sometimes, also, in classrooms ranging from 2 to 35 people at a time. So when our department managed to snag an external client of our very own who decided that they wanted some training for their own people, of course I'm the resource. The client is a large cosmetics company based in New York, and they want us to hold on-site training in Powerpoint and in using their template (which we've built for them). Fine. Scary, a bit, but fine. Free trip to NY, which is fun.

Except now they've ratcheted things up a bit and it's going to take place over 2 days, with a full day the first day and a half day with "power users" the second day. So that means I need to train for 12 hours. I need to have 12 hours of things to say! That's a LOT of hours, people.

I taught a computer science class for seven years at the college level. The classes I taught, even with lab, were never more than three hours per day. I've led large classroom training sessions at work, but never more than two hours. When I train our internal department people I spend an entire week with them, but I always send them off to do exercises for hours of each day. So ... I've NEVER done this before.

And! We have to basically write the entire curriculum in the next six weeks. I mean, almost nothing that we already use in-house is relevant, because everything we do is customized — we have specific toolbars and macros that we built to make our working lives easier, and almost every training document we have is based off the custom macros.

So! I am about to DROWN and I'm very nervous.

And! I have nothing to wear! New York City! Cosmetics company! I'm sure I can't show up in my jeans. AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE! It's like all my personal horrors in one two day event. AWESOME.

The second thing? I read Bob Harper's book "The Skinny Rules" yesterday. He's one of the trainers on The Biggest Loser, and he decided to put down a bunch of rules about how to get skinny. And currently I follow exactly none of them. I mean, a lot of the rules make sense. Drink a large glass of water immediately before every meal. Go to bed hungry — meaning don't eat anything for several hours before bedtime. But then there are hard ones, like no carbs after lunch. He wants women to only eat 1200 calories a day. I have a hard time sticking to 1800 right now. I can't IMAGINE 1200. So I'm feeling like I'm doing it all wrong!

Patrick pointed out that I am losing weight, am off several meds, feel better. That he's trying to sell his book by making me feel bad. That what I've been doing has been working for me for a year, and that, anecdotally, I should have gained back everything I'd lost by now plus 10 pounds. I guess that's all true. I picked the book up because there were recipes and stuff, and I know he's a veggie fanatic and I need veggie help. I need to really be more selective about what I'm taking out of the book, I think.

Anyway, I had a week. It was fine. Worked out Wed (20 min bike, 5 min elliptical, 20 min swimming). Thursday was our summer work outing, which this year was a cruise on Boston Harbor. They had predicted terrible downpours and lightning and stuff, but it was just partly cloudy and hot, so that was pretty nice. I can't remember the last time I'd been on the harbor, so that was nice, too. The food was decent and although only appetizers, pretty plentiful, so I counted it as a "cheat" day and proceeded to eat All The Things. The best part? My coworker Joanne and I scurried away when the karaoke started and hid up on the deck. Because otherwise I might have leaped. I really gotta take up drinking.

Despite feeling perfectly fine on the boat, I woke up on Friday with an inner ear problem that made me dizzy all day. I read that that's pretty common after you've been on a cruise. I had to skip going to weight class that night, because I thought I might fall over with a barbell and that might be bad. Driving was occasionally a challenge, too! Was better by Sunday, and is mostly gone today.

Dinner and a movie (Mary and Max on Netflix) with P Saturday night, Sunday was lunch with P and some light shopping, then today was chores day with a dollop of Y action (25 min bike, 30 min walking, 45 min weights). I was trying hard not to think about the training thing until I go back to work tomorrow, but Mom (sigh) pointed out I'd need something to wear and that threw me into a tizzy, and then it basically ruined the rest of the day for me. CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE in a big way. I did feel better after the gym, however. Beat the angst out of me. Hard to worry about something far away when something close by is heavy and needs picking up and putting down.

So last week I felt pretty good about life, and this week I feel unsettled. I guess that's fine.

Comments

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I drop by to say that A) I have been reading and applauding and B) 1200 calories is INSANE do not listen to him. He's not tailoring his book to you personally, so you can't assume everything in it applies to your situation. Take the recipes, leave the rest.

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's hard to filter, sometimes. And you always feel like you can do better, that you're not trying your very hardest.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have any advice about all day trainings or dressing up for New York. Yes, scary! Well maybe you can have a few short exercises in there where you also walk around and answer questions.

But I will say SCREW the Biggest Loser guy for making you feel bad. You're obviously doing it right. It's nice to know there are more ideas to try if you want them, but you are already doing it perfectly. You don't feel deprived, you feel good, and you're losing weight. It doesn't get better than that.

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

That anonymous comment was from me. Who logged me out since last night?

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it's easy to get caught up in your head.

I'm going to try to adopt a couple of the more reasonable ideas. The water thing is a good idea. And I've been stopping eating earlier, these last two nights. Those are painless and easy; we'll see if they help! But I'm going to ignore the overall tone of "anyone should be able to follow these simple rules, and if you can't you will fail."

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Excellent. (I'm saying that like Mr. Burns does in "The Simpsons.")

[p-j-cleary.livejournal.com]

Oh, I missed the part where you told me it was Bob Harper from the Biggest Loser who wrote that book. Do not listen to Bob Harper! His show starves and over-exercises people to the point where they almost always injure themselves, they don't keep the weight off (Google "Biggest Loser past contestants" for example after example), and their experience with him has been fairly awful (Season 3's Kai wrote many entries about how they encouraged anorexic behavior from the contestants to boost the weight loss numbers).

Honestly, you're doing this absolutely right. I think you're kind of now looking for reasons why this isn't a Good Thing, because it seems like it's been "too easy" for you. You're doing exactly what you need to, and you're still seeing the numbers fall on the scale. Keep at it until it doesn't work. Reading diet books and feeling badly because you're not doing it "right" WHILE YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT is exactly what the diet industry is built upon.

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Yeah!

So are there any good recipes in there?

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

Yeah, some look pretty good. Haven't tried them yet, but I'll let you know!

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the diet industry point is very valid. I like information, as you know, so I try to get it from a lot of places. I just hit a bad one, this time! I bounce back, though. It's ok!

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Hey, I got hold of my friend who does day-long and week-long trainings. Here is some information from her:

**

"Hmmm.... At the beginning of the first day, sometime after the introductions, ask them when they want lunch, and for how long. Don't accept anything more than hour, but often people will surprise me and want 30 or 45 minutes for lunch. They've chosen lunch at 11:30, and sometimes as late as 1pm. Giving them the choice allows them to feel in control. Tell them that you want to give 3 breaks -- one in the morning, and two in the afternoon. I generally only let the total break time be 30 minutes (of all three breaks added together), but they get to choose when and how to distribute it. "You want three 20 minute breaks?! Yeah, I'd like that, too. No seriously, guys. We have a certain amount of time to spend in class... Is it this so important that you are willing to stay late?" Again, I've had students surprise me with a 20 minute break in the morning, and then two five minute breaks in the afternoon. *shrug* Write the times down where they can see them and tell them to remind you if you go too far past break. This keeps them from wandering in and out for bathrooms because they will know when a break is coming soon.

"Especially if this is the first time you have done a class this long, ask them to turn their phones to buzz and to turn off any audible sounds on their computers. When you first start talking on day 1, ask them to shut their computers. This gets them in the habit of focusing on you, even if it only last 5 minutes.

"Do NOT cut the first day short. If you tell them it will go until 5pm on the first day, Go until 5pm. Or 5:05pm. DO NOT END EARLY. If this means you end at 3pm on the second day, so be it. Your end time the first day sets their expectation for the second day.

"The afternoon is when they start getting tired and slow and sleepy. If you have or can make up any class activities that involve getting up or actively talking to each other, do them in the afternoon. New and complex concepts should be introduced first thing in the morning.

"Make a quiz for the start of day 2. I generally write up 10 questions, open book, open notes. I tell them that they have 10 minutes from the start of class, then we discuss the answers. 10 points per question, 10 questions, everyone starts with a score of zero when they walk in. Written or verbal correct answers are accepted. This saves me from being forced to strangle the 50% of the class who wander in 10-20 minutes late. I even give out little schlocky prizes to the top two or three people who do best on the morning quiz. Thus those who arrive early or on time are rewarded.

"Ok, that is a start. Good luck!"

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

thanks! very helpful!

[indigo-rose99.livejournal.com]

Livingdeb and I were also talking about clothes. *wave* I'm the friend who travels and teaches week-long classes.

Clothes to teach in. I teach at businesses all around the world. Not at cosmetics companies, but how different can a cosmetics company be? Don't wear makeup that they can clearly tell is not theirs?

My clothing while teaching: khakis or slacks in a neutral color, a plain colored t-shirt, and a jacket.

I do not wear suits -- slacks and the jacket do not perfectly match, just coordinate. I want to be a bit more dressed up than most of my students, but not too far over. If you care, I'm fond of the Ann Taylor in the Round Rock outlet mall for the slacks and jacket. Their clearance section usually has at least one or two items in reasonable colors in every size.

If I wear button-down shirts, ALWAYS wear an undershirt. The last thing you want to do is bend over a student's computer and give them a lovely view of your bra between the buttons.

And choose a shirt that is a little long in the torso (I'm fond of Duluth Trading Company's extra long t-shirts) so that when you lift an arm to point, you do not flash stomach. I usually choose crew neck t-shirts because I often bend over computer screens (and don't want to flash them from that angle, either).

Comfortable shoes. If you are not accustomed being on your feet for 9 hours straight, your feet are going to HURT by 3pm the first day. Choose invisible shoes. You students should not notice your feet. Not sneakers. I usually go for black or brown leather. Wear something that you would consider reasonable to walk a marathon in. And while it may seem crazy, pack some epsum salts. When you go back to your hotel after the first night, you will want to soak your feet in hot water and epsum salts. It will make a difference in whether you can bear to stand on day 2.

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I'll have a coworker with me to possibly trade off with, and who will definitely be able to surf around the class and help people out with individual stuff, so that will be helpful. I think the company is going to arrange the lunchtime, so I don't think I'll have control over that, but I'm pretty sure I'll have control over break and end time, so your tips are very helpful. It's also helpful to hear practical nuts and bolts things that will sit in the back of my head and settle me down when I start gibbering in panic. So thanks again!

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Actually, we talked about you/training the whole time at the gym yesterday. Here are a few more things I remember that indigo rose said.

Those guys know you aren't in the cosmetics industry. As a Powerpoint/template trainer, they'll expect you to be dressed more like a nerd. MUCH easier.

Don't wear anything sparkly or dangly, because it can be distracting. She also told me to wear a fairly new bra--you do not want to deal with breakage during a class. (Can you tell she has done this a million times? So much time to learn things the hard way.) And it's not just the shoes that need to be comfortable (she told me "Some people teach in heels. That's crazy.")--try to make your whole outfit comfortable--you don't need any distractions.

The reason she says that for the second-day quiz (sounds like you could have an after-lunch quiz) the score starts at zero when they walk in is that she used to take off points for lateness, and students who had answered zero questions and lost 20% for lateness would argue that they had an 80% on the quiz. She doesn't take off (directly) for lateness anymore, but if you're late, you have less time to finish the quiz.

She also recommends, for anything with prerequisite knowledge (your day 2 folks?), that you give them a little quiz on the prerequisite information at the start of the class. As you go through the answers, some of them will realize they are wasting their time in the class and some of them will realize they will actually have to pay attention in class. Plus, in going over the answers, you're giving a nice review for people who can profit from that.

She also said that near the end, you can give them a list of things that need to be accomplished and tell them they can leave when that is finished, regardless of what time it is. This inspires them not to lollygag. (I had a good camp director who did this, too. I also had a bad camp director who said, "I have scheduled a flight for [early time], so you better be finished by then." The latter is a risky strategy for those who people don't like and/or respect. Me--I fantasized about putting bubble bath in the pool water. Or calling in a disguised voice to say that her flight had been delayed when it really hadn't. Anyway, don't make the ending time about you!)

Indigo rose usually has too much information and doesn't have the problem of trying to figure out enough things for them to do. (She teaches statistics, usually to engineers.) So, no help there.

In the past she has also told stories about getting invited out to lunch by a group of her students on class days. As I recall, these are always good stories. Especially since she often ends up in very alien seeming places (on the other side of the planet), this is when she might get clued in to any social faux pas she may have been making. Plus, they usually take her somewhere good (even if they also try to get her to eat some gross-sounding food, for fun).