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Weather: (FEB 15) OK, as of January 23 we'd only had 5.5 inches of snow for the whole season. We've had 90 inches since then. 90. Seven and a half feet. Today is February 15. So in approximately 24 days we've had seven and a half feet of snow. It's like the freaking apocalypse. It's incredibly claustrophobic. It's impossible to pull out of driveways, which also means it's impossible to drive down streets without worrying that someone is going to pull out of a driveway into you. When you try to go somewhere, it's a lengthy search for parking. Just depressing.

Really it's the mental aspect more than the physical for me. I haven't had to shovel much. Van takes care of all the snow removal (which because of my chest is a Really Good Thing). But the cabin fever and the feeling that there's nowhere to go and no way to get there is just hard. Plus it's been mostly gray every day. Every day. Ugh.

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(MAR 15) I left that for the record. I was too depressed to continue. So it's now March 15 and today we broke the snowfall record for Boston for all time. 108.6" of snow this season—they count snowfall seasons from July 1 to June 30, so we will probably get more, since there's already more in the forecast for this week. Previous record was 107.6 back in 1995 (which I must have shoveled, because I would have been in Watertown and going to school and working in Waltham at the time, but I don't remember. It was probably more reasonably spread out over the season then). But honestly, if we hadn't made the record I would have been depressed! It's deal-withable now. We had over a week of warm weather and sunshine, so we've lost the opressive towers and we're down to a normal amount on the ground.

I'm not up to peak mood yet, but I am not completely unable to cope, either. Progress.

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Stuff: So my belongings are split right now between three places. I have my daily stuff with me at Mom's house. I have a lot of stuff like books in Patrick's attic. And I have a small amount of stuff in a storage unit. Couple days ago I got a call from my storage unit. A few weeks ago the building next door fell down, or something, and we were all locked out for a few weeks until they could inspect and make sure it was safe to go back in. Well, we're allowed to go back in as of tomorrow, and we're not just allowed, but ENCOURAGED to stop by because when the building fell down it took out its sprinkler system and the water runoff from that building ran into our building and they don't know how many units are water damaged so we're all supposed to stop by and check. Awesome!

Between this incident, the LAST flood at the same storage place, the flood in my garden apartment, and the flood in mother's basement, I am not meant to have any belongings at all. It's just not ever going to work out for me. I need to just get rid of my stuff. Screw all of it. It's just my first 50 years. I don't need it. Everything I need I have with me already. I need to get maybe six boxes out of Patrick's attic of papers and photos, and get that digitized. Beyond that? Screw it all. I don't need the 2,000 books. The crates of records. Tools. Kitchen stuff. Towels. And whatever the fuck else is up there. And I certainly don't need whatever is in the storage unit. It's stuff I had in Patrick's basement. So it's like Christmas tree stands and my futon and some other random crap. Who needs stuff?

Sigh.

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Health: kinda dodgy, really. I have been sort of ignoring my diabetes the last few months. Part of my depression. So last week I decided to take a blood sugar reading and...not good. At all. So I put myself back on insulin (I still had some unopened pens from pre- and post-surgery) and have been taking it for a little over a week. And it's made me gain about a pound a day. CHRIST. So I need to figure out a solution there. My pants are tight and it's making me grumpy. AND my blood sugar is better, but not GREAT. I might have to see my doctor. I can't deal with doctors still right now.

And my chest still freaking hurts often. And it pops and clicks and grinds, sometimes, especially when I drive. I've been coughing and it sucks. And my leg hurts. And my feet feel swollen sometimes. And blah blah blah --- all the usual ailments. Tired of this!

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Work: Ups and downs. Got a raise. Got a really good review. Didn't get promoted yet. Finished a huge project, in the middle of another, feel like I'm not making anyone happy, but what the fuck, kinda don't care. Get to work from home when I want to. 10 minute drive from my house. Work with my bestie. I'll keep doing it for now. If I can get my shit together this year, finish healing up and such, maybe I'll think about something else. But for now, status quo. Took a "sick" day a couple weeks ago, went shopping, saw a movie, had some lunch. Much better than working. Will do that again in a few weeks. Gotta get through the long stretch between holidays somehow (we go from Jan 1 until Memorial Day with not a single holiday).

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Entertainment: Pretty much the thing keeping me going. Movies, tv, and books. Fewer books, more movies, lots of tv. I should update my lists. Blah.

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Short-term plans: So this week I'd like to make a few inroads:

  • Visit storage. Is everything damaged? Is nothing damaged? Make decisions.
  • Eat better.
  • Get caught up on laundry, etc.

Start small.
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